Quiet Influence

Earl J Holdren (1928 - 2012)

I met Earl in 1978 as a newly hired engineering undergrad. Over time we began to work together on projects, and I came to realize how fortunate I was to have him not only as a career mentor, but as a I life mentor, and ultimately as a friend.

As an engineering mentor, he taught me everything he knew. Analog circuits, signal conditioning, bridge amplifiers, A/D converters, fiber-optics, microprocessors, programming, interfacing, digital logic. Looking back, I am amazed at his breadth of knowledge over so many engineering disciplines. I had the privilege of working with him to develop Chrysler's third-generation optical digital crash recording system which was used in dynamic crash testing for over 10 years and is still used in static safety testing to this day!

As a life mentor, Earl taught me integrity and faith. He taught me to be tolerant of different beliefs and respectful of the sensitivities of others. As for integrity, he demonstrated it. You could rely on Earl and could trust him without question. He was a man of strong faith and integrity; this was  reflected by his peaceful demeanor.

As a friend, our relationship was improbable. We were a generation apart. I was about the same age as his children. Nevertheless, Earl and I developed a close friendship. We shared many walks and talks in and around the old Highland Park complex. We talked about life, career, family, and faith. The certainty of his faith rubbed off on me. After Earl retired, I was able to periodically visit him in Windsor where he lived. He and his wife Betty graciously welcomed me (and sometimes my entire family) into their home for visits and afternoon teas.

It is said that a person is known by the company they keep. It was an honor to have been in Earl's company.

Where is Jesus?

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Greece. I visited Greek Orthodox churches and a number of Greek homes. I observed that there were icons (religious paintings or reliefs of saints and Christ) everywhere: in churches, in taxi's, and in homes. In one home in particular there was a large icon of Christ in the hallway. Wanting to take a group portrait, the patriarch of the family half-jokingly said we should gather under the portrait of Jesus, to include Him.

The idea that we should include Jesus in our photo, persisted in my thoughts. It seemed absurd to me that Jesus was a portrait on the wall and that we should go gather by His picture to include Him in a snapshot of our lives. Then came my "ah-hah" moment. The location of Jesus has been the source of much, if not all the controversy within Christianity!

Having attended churches of at least five denominations, I have observed Christians have many differing beliefs as to where Jesus is located. Some believe that Jesus' entire substance is in the bread and the wine. Others say that Jesus' entirety is encompassed by word and sacrament. Still others say He is contained by the word alone ("sola scriptura"). So where exactly is Jesus? Where should I expect to find him?

I remembered reading that Jesus could often be found in the presence of outcasts: tax collectors, prostitutes, the poor, and those rejected by the religious establishment. Among the "least of these", Jesus often said "the Kingdom of God is near". He equated His presence among misfits with the nearness of God's Kingdom. I also recalled that when Jesus was asked when and where the Kingdom would come, he replied "The Kingdom of God is within you!"

Tolstoy defined the "Kingdom of God is within you" not as a mystical religion but as a "new conception of life." So what does this have to do with the picture, the icon on the wall? Well, the picture is one way of locating Jesus, albeit in a mystical religious way. On the other hand, if I take Jesus at his word, that the Kingdom of God is within me, then Jesus is not just a picture on the wall! A "new conception of life" is that His Kingdom is within me and that His life must be expressed through me. I must conceive of my life differently!

What is the Matter with Us?

Recently I heard that the First Lady was booed at NASCAR Event promoting "Joining Forces" a program to support Military families. It seems to me that there is now no lower limit on how disrespectful we can be.

I believe that much of this disrespect stems from a common root cause. Whatever the social ill: booing the wife of a president, political gridlock, bullying, class warfare, sexual aggression, human trafficking, ethnic, religious, and racial hatred, it all stems from a lack of respect. Obviously a lack of respect for others, but less obviously, a lack of respect for ourselves. As human beings, we should recognize our common humanity, our common vulnerabilities and our need for mutual support.

We may not and most likely cannot respect all the actions of our fellow humans, but at least we can acknowledge their humanity. It amazes me how quickly that we, who consider ourselves "nice", civil, and even religious people, can so easily go from laughing with others to laughing at others. How quickly we disdain those who think differently than us, who believe differently, or who have fallen into some misfortune of circumstance or personal weakness.

For those of us who consider ourselves believers, how much more that awareness should be. In the book of Genesis, we read that human beings are "created in the Image of God". If we are believers and premise human existence on that statement, then we must accept that we and every other human being has infinite value. If each human being has infinite value, then they are entitled to respect. If we believe the "Good Book" and accept it as the explanation of our present existence and future hope, then we should take heed to the Psalm:

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers...

For those who are not religious, but otherwise consider themselves "respectable" people, then consider this quote from Immanuel Kant:

“Men are respectable only as they respect.”

It is not a great distance from occupying the "seat of mockers" to becoming the object thereof.

One of a Kind

Moses Feliciano Ricardo Boquiren (1960 - 2011)

A friend passed away recently and not just a friend to me, but a friend to all. I could not let the end of his life pass by without comment.

I first met Moses back in 1999 at a church spaghetti dinner. My wife and I were visiting (first time visitors in fact), and we did not want to be presumptive about including ourselves in the spaghetti luncheon. We were about to leave when Moses caught us and invited us to stay. We declined and told him "go and have lunch with your church family". Moses said, "you are family" and so we stayed..... for years.

That was Moses. Radically inclusive. Radically welcoming. He was one of those very few people who was always "fully present" with you. When you were in his presence, you felt like you were the only person in the room.

Moses not only made you feel welcome, he made you laugh. He always had a joke on the tip of his tongue. He was a story teller and you found you could listen to his stories for hours. You left his presence feeling glad about the encounter.

He had a way of ingratiating himself with any person or any group. We took a trip to Ohio once and had dinner as the guests of an Amish family. The Amish children were fascinated with his Asian features. They asked him about his obviously non-Amish appearance. Moses explained that he was a "Flexican"....a Phillipino-Mexican.

At his standing-room-only funeral (which is a statement in itself), I saw so many different people, White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, white collar, blue collar, and clerical collar. I heard stories about how he helped people, encouraged people, inspired people, and led people to faith.

In my estimation, Moses demonstrated living a Christian life better than most. His life and the testimonies about him have been an inspiration to me. I hope that I can learn from his example and become more inclusive, more encouraging, and more fully present with those who I encounter. By so doing I hope I can honor his life and honor the gift of God that he was to so many.

Freedom from Tyranny

On this particular 4th of July (2011), I was thinking about the greatest tyranny we have ever faced.....ourselves and "our way of life." Over the past half century, we have relied on government protection, government entitlements, government assistance, and armed intervention in foreign lands to secure these "blessings of liberty" and "our way of life". The trouble is that we have consumed more of life than we were been willing to pay for at the time. And now the bill has come due.....$14,000,000,000,000.

One way to put that number in perspective is see what it would really take to pay it down compared to other nations (see Sovereign Debt Chart). To reduce our debt to only 60% of GDP by 2026 will require 94% of our GDP (our entire economic output)! That is astounding figure!

The amounts being debated in Washington are downright paltry compared to the sums needed to get ahead of the growing debt. As absurd as it is to say we are not raising the debt ceiling this year, it is equally absurd to say that taxes breaks are not going to be cut or that taxes are not going to be raised for all of us.

Before we get our righteous indignation riled up at "big government", we should ask ourselves have we ever taken our turn at the government trough? Have we ever used a government subsidized housing loan? student loan? collected SSA benefits? filed a medicare claim? eaten clean food? drank clean water? breathed clean air? advocated for involvement in Iraq or Afghanistan? Those two wars alone will account for $4 trillion of our debt.

So this fourth, let us celebrate the blessings of our liberty and our way of life as Christmas in July, but with an eye towards "February" when the credit cards come due. The greatest threat to the freedom of our nation is not some cell of terrorists. The greatest threat to freedom is insolvency.

"The borrower is servant to the lender" - Proverbs 22:7

A Son-in-Law’s Memories

Van Zissimos March 30, 1920 - March 18, 2011

I first met Van Zissimos when I started dating my wife in 1980. Two months later, I proposed. Knowing that I was marrying into a traditional Greek family, I went to my future father-in-law and asked for permission to marry his daughter. He replied “If you love her enough.” Though the reply caused me a short bout of cold feet, I soon became his son-in-law. I also gained a father-in-law…..the best father-in-law that anyone could ask for!

My Boy
Once I was in the family, I was really in. You only had to watch the “Greek Wedding” movie to understand. He fondly referred to me as “My Boy.” I was always welcome in his house as he was welcome in mine. We only lived two miles from each other, so he was a continual presence at our home. So much a presence that the conception of my children hung in the balance.

I’m Having a Problem
I was so welcomed and so included in his family, that he had no problem calling me when he had a problem. “Alex my boy” he would begin, “I’m having a problem with my…..car, furnace, TV, ….”. On the surface of it, it sounded like he was just asking for advice, but this was really a coded request for me to come over and fix it for him.

Coffee and Pie
Van enjoyed his pie and coffee after dinner. I often shared pie and coffee with him, usually at his kitchen table. Sometimes I would bring dessert over and sometimes he would get a pie at the grocery store, but to sit at the same table and fellowship over a pie and coffee was his joy.

Rails and Ties
You did not have to hang around my father-in-law long to learn that he was a railroad man through and through. Through the years Van taught me all there was to know about railroad switching, braking, conducting, and “humping cars”. Before you let that phrase leave a questionable mental picture in your mind, “humping cars” just means pushing rail cars to the top of the hill in the yard and then allowing the car to roll back down, using switches to route them to the train you were building.

Red Lobster
Though I now live 30 miles away, I still go to the same family dental practice near father-in-law's home. Following the afternoon appointment, I would drop by and ask him if he would like to go out to eat. Sometimes he was in a funk when I first got there, but after a while he would brighten up and say, “Alex my boy, do you want to go out to eat? How about Red Lobster?” So off we would go to Red Lobster. Rainbow Trout was his favorite. After Red Lobster, we went over to Culver’s for his favorite treat, a pineapple sundae. As an added bonus, Culvers has free Wi-Fi, so I would bring my corporate laptop along, and we would catch up on the latest pictures of his great-grandson on Facebook.

Thankful
My father-in-law was always thankful for his family. He lived for holiday gatherings and meals. As patriarch of the family, he often took the lead to say grace. In fact, he took the lead no matter whose house he was in and that was OK. He never forgot how he came to this country with nothing and how God had blessed him with children and great grandchildren. I will never cease to be thankful to God for bringing him into my life that I might marry his daughter and be blessed with a family of my own.

His Faith and Hope
The most important thing you would learn about my father-in-law was his faith in Christ. It was unshakeable. Despite all the struggles he had been through, he maintained a solid faith and confidence in God, even to the last days of his life. It was a confidence that could not be faked, especially in the throes of a terminal illness.

See You When I get There
Just before he passed, I told my father-in-law that I would see him when I get to the other side. And I fully expect to. My confidence is in the same God who brought us to together. When you consider the series of coincidences that allowed the paths of Van Zissimos and Mary Cutrubus to converge at a Coney Island on the southwest side of Detroit, you realize how improbable, how unlikely it is that I have my family today. It has been said that coincidences are miracles where God chooses to remain anonymous. It was a miracle that I met my father-in-law at all. And I am confident in the miracle that will allow me to see him again.

The Lord's Table

The other day, our "small group" met after a long hiatus from formal meetings during the summer. Many of us have been busy with travel, visiting out-of-state family, children's high school activities, college graduations, exchange student host family meetings. You get the idea.

So, we finally met on a Saturday night and had Pizza together. Usually, we have a more formal study in the living room. But somehow, this day we started our meeting around the kitchen table. We pulled up a few more chairs and began to read the devotional prepared by our small group leader and dear friend. Our devotional was a prayer by Henri Nouwen:

Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.
And what you want to give me is love—
unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen.

As I thought about our gathering around the kitchen table, it occurred to me:
- a lot of love, forgiveness, and grace have kept us together at that table over the last few years
- we are struggling to make it in this economy....
- we have been disappointed with people and circumstances...
- we all want to honor God with our plans and our service and yet....
- our lives are being led in directions we would not have chosen for ourselves....
- we continue to look out for each other (job referrals, car repairs, house-sitting, prayers)...
- we have visited each other in hospitals and emergency rooms...
- we know if we were in trouble and had just one phone call, who we would call...

It was good to sit close around that table, look each other in the eye, and realize how much we love each other. The pizza may not have been "eucharist" in the technical, theological sense, but it was the bread we broke together.

While we are on that thought, why wouldn't the table we gathered around be the Lord's table? How would such a table where believers gather in His name, forgiven, in peace and unconditional acceptance not be the Lord's table? How is it that at times we allow ourselves to succumb to the dualism where we separate new life, forgiveness, and restored fellowship at the Lord's Table from the reality of life shared around any table?